A
Genius Taught Me
By Mike Schoettler
Some
time ago I brought flowers home to my wife. No reason, I just felt
like it. Pretty brave you might say? Maybe.
Veronica
had the same three choices any woman has in that situation. She
could have given me an accusing look and said, "What have you
done?" Or she could have given me a curious look and said,
"What do you think you are going to do?" But she didn't.
What she did do was give me a big smile, a great kiss and then she
said, "I love you."
When
I asked her later if she had thought that I might have been up to
something, she said "Of course." But she said she would
have found out soon enough. So, "Why Spoil the moment."
I reckon she's a genius.
Well,
you tell me. Of the three choices, which one do you think gets more
flowers? Criticism, doubt or loving support. Veronica still gets
flowers and she still reinforces the good behaviour.
Will
It Work?
So
do we expect to see this as the norm in the workplace? Shouldn't
everyone by now understand and use the common sense approach that
says you can catch more flies with honey than vinegar?
My
experience says not. More businesses seem to be based on the "Everything
is OK unless you hear otherwise" approach, which leaves staff
working on the "Keep your head down," principle. For them,
feedback is to be avoided. Of course, what choice do they have,
when all news is bad news, and no news is the only good news.
If
this style ever worked, it must have been in a business that could
count on doing things the same way, day in and day out for years.
What
about Change?
But
today our biggest competitive advantage in business is the ability
of our people to learn, adapt and change. Where we focus on the
benefits to our customers and not ourselves.
So
where can someone get the confidence to grow, change, and try something
new if they are never told they are doing well. The basis of a "comfort
zone" is simply doing what we know and avoiding the discomfort
inherent in change.
And
change depends on people giving up the security of feeling competent
in what they have been doing for the insecurity of doing it differently.
Literally giving up the confidence of knowing exactly how to do
something in exchange for trying to get a better result.
A Mary
Kay Ash quote asks us, "What do people want more than sex and
money?" I half joke, what's left? But the punch line reminds
us all of what we really do know. "Praise and Recognition."
The
Mary Kay cosmetics business would not be recognisable without its
praise and recognition. But the sad fact is that many people still
go through their lives without the praise and recognition they are
due. Sadder still when you realise how simple it would be to recognise
their achievements. It doesn't have to cost anything to recognise
someone's achievements. But it costs us all dearly when it doesn't
happen. We lose what our people could have done. What we could have
become.
Setting
Standards
The
price of using praise includes setting standards for people at every
stage of their career. You don't have to be the best on the team
to be doing well. Anyone who is getting better deserves recognition
and encouragement. We can become like our athletes, and stretch
each day for our individual "Personal Bests." You need
the courage to measure everyone and praise the improvers. The expression
"Catch them doing something right," doesn't mean it has
to be perfect. Just better.
Can
We Afford It?
Mary
Kay is known in the United States for passing out pink Cadillacs.
Only she really doesn't give them away. You get one when you have
earned it. And every time someone earns one, there is someone else
who can now see themselves getting one too. Even better, they expect
to have to work for it.
So
at a time when so many people are in the habit of doing just enough
to get by, you have the opportunity of using praise and recognition
to build a team who expects to get better. And expects to work at
it.
How
did you feel the last time you were praised? You can't buy that
feeling, but you can use it. Can you afford not to?
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